While you may not be able to control what other people say and do, or even some things that happen to you in life…. you can control how it effects you. This is called resiliency. In this video, we go over some ways that you can help your child be more resilient, which can help then navigate through the ups and downs of life. Resiliency is the capacity to recover from difficulties. It can also be called “toughness”.
I like to think of it as a clown bop. If you anywhere the age of me you might remember a blow up clown that you can hit and it comes right back up after you hit it. This is how I think of resiliency. You might get knocked down phyically or mentally, but for someone with resilience, it either effects them less or they recover quickly. So how do we teach our kids to be more resilient?
Here are a couple of ideas:
#1 – Let them make mistakes – Maybe they don’t finish their homework. You allow the natural consequences to take care of it. They need to learn from mistakes.
#2 – Let them problem solve – Instead of telling them what to do, ask them questions.
For example, instead of saying “please take your dishes to the sink” you might say, “what do we do with our dishes when we are done with dinner”. As you begin to ask more questions, they will begin to have more answers.
#3 – Don’t always accommodate – While we have great intentions because we love our kids, stop doing so many things for them. You are allowed to say no.
#4 – Allow risk – Let them do some things that you might feel are risky (like climb a tree or throw rocks). Eliminating all risk keeps them from developing resiliency
#5 – Teach them emotional intelligence – Being aware and understanding your emotions can help your child learn coping mechanisms
#6 – Practice Mindfulnness – Introduce them to guided meditation or some form of being present. Mindfullness can help reduce stress and build inner strength.
#7 – Exercise – This will build physically resiliency. Children who are physically resilient are less prone to injury and gain confidence in other areas.
#8 – Introduce them to new experiences – You want to get them outside their comfort zone. Introduce them to new foods, places, or people. This helps them become adaptable.
#9 – Connect with Characters – From books to movies, there are tons of examples of people who faced adversity or difficult situations, handled it, and came out good on the other side.
Remember, while you can’t control what someone else says or does, you can control your response to it. It is ultimately a choice on how we let things effect us. Resiliency gives us more options.