Anger is a real. We all get angry. But as a dad, it’s important we learn how to control our anger as our kids are watching. They see how we react and how we deal with things. Most of us don’t want to be angry, we just sometimes can’t help it. Although the reality is that it is a choice. While re-wiring our brain is the best answer, it may not be realistic for everyone.
Let’s start out by discussing a few types of anger. There are many but these seem to be some common ones:
Passive anger – usually is displayed in some not so obvious way. People may use the term “passive/aggressive”. Jokes, avoidance of a situation
Overwhelmed anger – sometimes used to relieve stress or pain, caused by life’s demands that could be too much
Volatile anger – builds and then erupts like a volcano. Expressed either physically or verbally.
Self-inflicted anger – this is directed at yourself, could be from guilt or shame guilt
Judgmental anger – which is directed toward others. Being critical, belittling others.
Chronic anger – which is prolonged, ongoing and can greatly affect someone’s health
If you find yourself getting angry with your child or spouse a lot, here are some ways to deal with anger:
1. Count to ten – take a breath and count. allow yourself the break
2. Take a timeout / physically walk away and remove yourself from the situation
3. Practice meditation or breathing exercises
4. Exercise – releases happy hormones and relieves stress
5. Understand why you are mad – we often get mad at our kids when we are actually frustrated or mad at something else. Identify exactly what you are mad at and figure out if you can change it
6. Self-Acceptance or acceptance of others – Learn that you are ok the way you are and so are other people. It takes practice. But ask yourself, is being mad the state I really want to be in?
7. Seek professional help. If it doesn’t feel like something you can solve or that it gets better, go get professional help.