Cheating, drugs, alcohol, even excessive eating. You know what these are sometimes the result of? A man simply not being happy. I’m seeing a lot of men struggle in their lives. I have struggled myself in various areas of my own life. Now I don’t have the answer to everyone’s problems, but I can tell you that you are not alone and we are here to help in any way we can. In this video, we are discussing some of the difficulties that dads struggle with. My hope is your realize these difficulties are common and that you can overcome them
We are all trying to figure life out. Unfortunately we often compare ourselves to those around us. The internet has made this problem even worse. That guy looks like he has a great marriage. This guy is more successful and has more money than I do. That guy over there, he just seems to have it all together.
The reality is that we decide how things effect us. Most of us are not born nor raised with an ability to not be effected by others. What others do, what others say. Or as I said before, comparing our life to someone else’s. It’s a losing proposition. We can go through life wishing we had more stuff, wishing we were in a better position, or wishing life could simply be different than it currently is.
Well I see only have 2 options, either 1) change the situation to how you want it or 2) change your perception of the situation and accept it. Self acceptance is crucial to happiness. You can strive to be better or want more without beating yourself up on where you are currently at. Dads struggle in various areas of their lives. I want to go over 4 specific areas on where you might be struggling.
Let’s see if we can first identify what’s going on, and see if we offer ourselves some self acceptance:
#1 Our Professional lives – Men often define themselves by what they do. Our job or career is very important to us. Are we doing our life’s purpose or are we in our job because it pays our bills? Many people feel stuck or just don’t enjoy the work that they do. Are you proud of what you do? You really need to ask yourself if your professional life is not the way you want it, are you willing to do what it takes to change it. If you are, great. If you are not, that’s great too. But then you are going to need to change your attitude and perception about what you are doing if you want to be happy.
#2 Financial – being the provider for your family is so stressful (if that is your role). When you feel like you are never making enough money to provide a lifestyle that you want for your family, it can be difficult. You can feel like a failure. Are you living paycheck to paycheck? Well there is something called Parkinson’s Law that says that no matter how much you make, you’ll spend the entire amount and then a little more. So what do you do? Begin learning what you can do to take control of your finances instead of your finances controlling you. Read books, watch videos, and learn how you can either earn more, spend less, or improve the management of your money. You can’t bury your head in the sand and think it’s going to improve.
#3 Relationship – So many people get divorced when their kids are young. The dynamic of the relationship becomes different when you have children. There is less time for the two of you, energy is spent elsewhere, and priorities begin to shift. You may be focused on being the provider, while she becomes more focused on the children. So what should you do with your relationship? First, you need to talk to your spouse. Communication is the single most important element in reducing the issues. You also need to make time for each other. If you are struggling in your relationship, you are going to have to make effort to get it back on track. It’s the same with any of the issues we are discussing. If you want it to change, you need to do something about it or you need to change your perception about it.
#4 – Physical – There is a big correlation between depression and people not taking care of themselves. Whether this be what you put in your body or exercise. When people are unhappy, they may consume things that aren’t good for them or become more sedentary. There are tons of good excuses for dads not to be taking care of themselves. However if you want to feel better emotionally, sometimes it’s easier to start with the physical. Start small. Maybe you go for a walk at night. You begin to make better food choices. You just have to make the decision to do it. In fact, in all of the areas we discussed in this video, it’s about making it a priority. Is it painful enough that you want to make a change? Are you willing to put in the work to feel better and live a happier life? Putting in the work can simply be training your mind to think differently. It can be consuming positive messages….watching motivational videos or reading inspirational books.
The purpose of the video is to help you understand that you are not alone. We all struggle. The awesome thing is that you don’t have to. You can change it.