In this video, we review the ways dads “should” on their kids. Yes I said the word should “S-H-O-U-L-D”.
As fathers, we way have an idea in our minds of how things should be. As a result, we “should” all over. We do this to ourselves, our spouses, and yes, even our children. But what happens when we think something should go a certain way and it doesn’t? Or that our child should be a certain way and they are not. What do we do? Let’s review some shoulds we need to stop doing:
My child should be better at sports – Ok so you were captain of your high school football team, great. Your child isn’t going to go pro. Let’s face it. Let’s try teaching them that exercise is important. You want them to enjoy physical activity so it’s a part of their life. Don’t discourage them by being critical of their performance. And certainly don’t get yourself frustrated thinking they need to be the best one on the field.
My child should be smarter – Could it be they simply need some extra help at school? Are there other things or other kids that could be distracting them. Positive re-inforcement is going to be more powerful that getting upset at them or punishing them for how they do in school. You want learning and school to be enjoyable. Find out if something deeper is going on and always be supportive.
My child should be cleaner – I think this is common as they learn behavior over time. But really look at your own behavior. Are you cleaning up after yourself? Are they seeing you clean?
My kid should move faster – Children’s brains simply just don’t process information as fast as adults. They just take longer to take action and typically take longer to accomplish things. If there is one thing children teach us dads every day, it’s patience.
My child should have more common sense – They need to be taught the ways of the world. You as OB1 can teach them many things. Jedi training doesn’t happen overnight.
My child should have more ambition – Why is success or ambition so important? Do you feel like they will struggle if they are not ambitious? What if they are happy with where they are at? Remember that ambition and success do not equal happiness.
My child should be happier – They have all of these things. They live in such a great place. Why are they not happier all of the time? Have you asked your child what makes them happy? This would be a great conversation to have with them.
So remember, stop shoulding on your child.