On October 8, 2019
Have you ever heard the phrase hindsight is 20/20? It basically means it’s easy to know the right thing to do AFTER it happens. This happens when being a father. We look back and wish we had that fatherly advice that would have helped us to do something differently or change our perspective on something. Oh, that’s only me?
In this episode, I wanted to go over some of the best fatherly advice I wish I knew earlier in fatherhood. It probably would have saved me from a lot of frustration. If you knew then what you know now, would you do anything differently? I would have. Here is some fatherly advice that I wish I would have known then:
Patience Is a Virtue – This means to be able to wait for something without becoming frustrated is a valuable character trait. Patience in being a father is extremely valuable. By nature, I’m not that patient. But the fatherly advice here is that the more patient you can be as a father, the better. Being a father is a marathon, not a sprint. and your child will test your patience all the time.
When they are a baby it’s going to be the crying, feeding, or the changing of diapers. When they are a toddler it’s going to be the tantrums, defiance, and whining. When they get older it’s going to be them not listening or moving much slower than you desire. Again, your child will test your patience so it’s best you learn it, practice, and become Mr patience.
Your Child Should Respect You, Not Fear You – If you are ruling your kids by fear, either by yelling, being aggressive, or anything that creates fear in them, there are better ways to be a father. The combination of being kind and firm is the best IMO. Kindness shows respect for the child and firmness shows respect for ourselves and the needs of the situation. Being fatherly isn’t creating fear in your child, it’s creating mutual respect which will create a powerful bond and relationship.
Next…Mistakes Are the Best Teachers – You are going to have some awesome days as a father, but understand you will also have some bad days. You are going to make mistakes. From diaper changes to discipline, we just can’t get it right every time. The fatherly advice is to give yourself a break and don’t be so hard on yourself when you make a mistake. Just try not to repeat mistakes. Learning from our mistakes is the key.
Your Child Isn’t Out To Get You – This fatherly advice is hard to remember in the heat of the moment, but you will find yourself arguing with your young child thinking they are trying to make you angry, irritate you, or test you. They are not. Young children, they are just trying to figure out what is going on in this big world. Don’t take it personally. They are not trying to make your life miserable, they are just learning the ways of the world.
The Days Are Long But The Years Are Short – Remember I said in the beginning of this video that being a father is a marathon, not a sprint. When you are dealing with newborns, toddlers, and in quite frankly…the first few years, it is just not easy. The days are long. Many people said “the time goes by so fast”. I didn’t believe them as I was going through it. Now my children are 9 and 11 and it has gone by fast. The years are short.
The fatherly advice is to enjoy the present. You get to decide how those long days effect you. If you can put your role as a father into proper perspective and understand how important you being a father is, you will be just fine.
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