If you have listened to some of our other episodes, you have probably guessed that I operate at a fairly high energy level….I get excited about things….I’m what they would call a “Type A” personality.
What often comes along with that personally is very low patience. I hate to wait, I want things done immediately, and I am impatient.
Having children sort of messes with that. They seem like they have their own agenda and their own timeline. They do things slowly.
Alan, have you had some difficulty with patience?
So I had to learn to be more patient. In this episode, I’m going I’m going to share with you what worked for me so you can learn how to be more patient with your child.
They say that patience is a virtue. It’s a skill that can help you battle anger and get along with others. But most importantly, being patient can help you better deal with your kids.
Here are some of the ways I am able to be more patient with my kids:
#1 – Pause before Reacting – When your are about to react and you can feel your impatience, take a pause.
This pause may be taking a few deep breaths
It could be counting to 10
Or even leaving the room or taking a short walk if it’s an option.
The important thing is that you recognize yourself getting impatient and can slow yourself down.
#2 – Don’t take it personally – Your 3 year old is not trying to ruin your day. They are actually not concerned with you at all. They are just 3 years old.
No? really? I’ve already asked you 4 times. Obviously you don’t want to listen to me)
As dads, we take so much of our children’s actions personally and that can effect our patience. Our fuse gets shorter.
We feel like they are out to get us or that they really want to make our life miserable. They don’t….at least not while they are young.
#3 – Change expectations – Realize that your 4 year old being distracted by some flowers is perfectly normal for a 4 year old.
(ahh that’s right she is only 4, duh)
When you have a better understanding that your child is probably just like most other children that age, your patience starts to improve.
#4 – Repeat a mantra – When you feel your patience being tested, you can use a mantra or phrase to repeat.
(I will not let them break my serenity)
The mantra reminds you that it’s important to watch your patience and be mindful that you need to slow down. The mantra brings you back to that.
#5 – Meditation – I’m not talking about meditating during the situation, I’m talking about practicing meditation in general when you can. Meditation has been extremely valuable for me.
(show sitting and meditating)
It’s not something that happens overnight. It’s a muscle that you build over time. But meditation has taught me to slow down and gives me more power to slow down in those moments when I need to.
#6 – Think of yourself as a coach – When your mindset is as a coach rather than a parent, you approach the situation differently.
(wearing hat….. Alright, let’s go kids. You can do this.)
You go into teaching mode which immediately gives you more patience. You are providing instruction and are more understanding that the little person you are dealing with may just not know what to do.
#7 – Have Empathy – When you put yourself in someone else’s place and see things from their eyes, you get a different perspective.
(I can see you are upset because you can’t find your shoes. Do you want me to help you look for them?)
Empathy will create more patience. You will have a better understanding of what the other person is going through and possibly how your impatience is effecting them.
Learning how to be more patient with your child is possible. You got to work at it. Remember these tips and you will improve your patience.