We all want our kids to be have confidence. It’s an attractive quality that adults find valuable. It’s not something we are necessarily born with. So how can we build confidence in our child? It’s easier than you think. But you might not realize that some of the things you are doing are inhibiting your child from becoming confident.
In this video we look at 6 ways that you can help your child build confidence. Confidence is like a muscle. Maybe some people are born with a little bit more of it than others, but if you train it properly you can build it big. Let’s go over some ways that you as a parent can help your child build their confidence.
1) Stop Doing Everything for Them – getting them dressed, carrying their backback to school, tying their shoes, making their lunch. You want to build a child’s confidence? Let them do things for themselves. While your intention in doing things for them may be good, you are hindering their growth. Stop doing things for them. You may not even realize how much you are doing. Let’s say you are at a park and your child hands you their trash for you to go throw it away. You can say, no you are capable of throwing it away, the trash is right over there. Sure it’s nice to do things for each other, but be mindful to allow your child to do things for themselves so you can help build confidence
2) Let them fail – We just did episode 77 which is a complete video about why failing is good for your kids. They need to learn how to get up after getting knocked down and understand that it is totally ok to fail. We are not abandoning them when they fail. We are their for support, to help them learn, and encouragement. How you handle them failing is important for them to build confidence and try again.
3) Give them unconditional love – feeling loved and accepted is a foundation for confidence. Whether they fail or succeed they are loved. Making mistakes is ok and they will be loved no matter what. Unconditional love is going to help a child build confidence.
4) Praise & Encouragement is Internally focused – Instead of saying “I’m so proud of you” say “You should be really proud of yourself.
Instead of saying “Great job” say “You did it”
Instead of sating “I liked that you cleaned your room” say “You cleaned your room. That probably feels good”
We want them to feel good internally rather than looking for outside sources for praise. What happens when you aren’t there? These positive feelings need to come from within them to build their confidence.
5) Give them age appropriate tasks – Feeling needed is valuable. Whether you want to call them tasks, chores, or responsibilities is up to you. I prefer calling them responsibilities. Children gain confidence by contributing and knowing that what they are doing is helping the family. They may complain about the cleaning, doing dishes, or taking out the trash but it is actually helping them build confidence.
6) Let them make decisions – Even when kids are really young, giving them two options (and you are ok with either) is a good way to begin building confidence in your child. When you give them choices, they feel more in control which helps build their confidence. This can be as simple as, do you want to go upstairs fast like a cheetah or slow like turtle? or do you want turkey or ham for lunch? These small choices get bigger as they get old. They become more confident with making decisions. Confidence is something we all want for our children. These are all things you can do to help your child be more confident as they grow.