Let’s be honest. We just have to admit it. Us men are typically not great listeners. It’s actually genetic. Men use less of their brain for listening than woman do and it’s one of the biggest complaints woman have in relationships. So, in this video, we cover some ways to improve your listening skills, so you can be a better listener to your wife. Today we are talking about one of the most important skills a person can have: listening. Being a good listener can help you in business, connect you with your children, but most importantly, it can improve your relationship with your wife. So here are some ways us we can improve our listening skills:
#1 – Avoid interruptions – Are you a conversation hijacker? Allow the person to finish their thought before you speak.
#2 – Stop Thinking about your response – I hate to break it to you, but it’s not all about you. Focus on what the other person is saying instead of thinking about your response to what they are saying.
#3 – Looks at the person directly in their eyes or at least close to them – Nothing feels more rude than when you are talking to the back of someone’s head or their back. Face them so they can see your eyes. Parents say this to their kids all the time “Please look at me when I am speaking to you”.
#4 – Clarify or repeat their statement – You know when you are talking to a customer service person on the phone and they say “Am I understanding this correctly, you want to ….and they then repeat exactly what you just said. It can be helpful to confirm what they said or to repeat it, to ensure you understand and they are able to feel like you heard them.
#5 – Ask questions – You have to come from a place of curiosity rather than judement, but asking a good question or two shows that you are listening.
#6 – Be empathetic – Try to put yourself in their shoes. Most of the time they are not asking for a solution, they just want you to listen. You may say something like “That must really be difficult. or “I’m sorry you are feeling that way.” Empathy goes a really long way….learn it!!
#7 – Look at non-verbal cues – Body language is 55% of communication and tone of voice is 38%. For those of you doing the math, that means 93% of communication isn’t even about what is being said. Pay attention to their body language, facial expressions, and their tone of voice.
#8 – Be open minded – You don’t have to agree with what they are saying. You are trying to be a good listener. When someone feels they are being listened to, it becomes really powerful. We can all work on being better listeners.
Use these tips and see how the relationships around you improve.