Welcome to the 7th and final video in this series. If you haven’t seen videos 1 through 6, you can find them on our Fatherhood Formula playlist.
As I have mentioned before, each of the 7 Principles build upon each other. So in this video, we bring it all together. Today we are going to cover what I would probably consider the most difficult Principal in the Fatherhood Formula: Consistency.
While it’s not hard to understand, consistency in parenting is just hard to implement. So what makes it so difficult? How consistent are you with your exercise routine? How consistent are you with your healthy eating habits? or with the dentist, or going on dates with your wife, or whatever else deserves consistency.
All of these require a commitment: hmmmm the first principal in the Fatherhood Formula. Do you see that? Do you see how I tied that all together? But why is it so difficult to be consistent? I think there are a couple of common reasons (or excuses) why we are not consistent in general so let’s look how they relate to parenting:
#1 – It’s not enjoyable. If you have to do something that you don’t really enjoy, you simply may choose not to be consistent. Let’s face it, there are simply a lot of times that parenting just isn’t that fun.
#2 – We’re lazy. When things take a lot of effort, we have a tendency to take the easy route. Good parenting takes a lot of energy, a lot of thought, and a lot of time. Sorry, it’s easier to not do it or even worse, we’ll leave it up to our spouse.
#3 – We minimize it’s importance. Why make the effort if it’s not that important? What i do doesn’t effect them that much. The kid will be fine.
As the 7th and final principal, it’s crucial that you understand the importance of consistency when it comes to parenting. If you recall in the last video, I talked about you coaching your child on life skills and how that takes a lot of practice. Well this practice is an element of consistency.
It means you may have to do the same thing over and over and over and over again in order for your child to finally get it. I was going to put in more overs but I think you understand. Young children prefer consistency. They know what to expect and crave routine. This starts when the baby is born. You learn early on that being consistent with feedings, bath time, sleep patterns, etc. makes your life a little more predictable and the baby calmer.
As a child gets older, it means that rules and expectations are the same from one time to another. It allows the world to be less confusing. It frees them from worrying about what happens next. It’s no wonder a child wants to watch the same movie over and over? or wants to read the same book every night? What about wear the same clothes every single day? They like consistency.
So as it relates to parenting, here are a couple of ways to be consistent as a father:
Acknowledge it’s importance – realize how important being consistent is in your parenting
Create rules and be prepared to enforce them for everyone – a lot… including yourself. just start with a few, don’t overwhelm them
Stick with it – Don’t give up when parenting gets hard – and it’s guaranteed to get hard
If you disagree with your spouse or co-parent, Talk privately and come up with a compromise. consistency between parents is important
Reinforce good behavior, ignore bad behavior
Establish routines – create morning routines, night routines, etc. It helps everything be more consistent and predictable.
Like anything you want to be good at, it doesn’t happen overnight. If you want to have a great golf swing, you need to practice. If you want to be good at playing an instrument, you have to practice. So guess what, if you want to be good at parenting, you actually have to practice that too.
Consistency requires a lot of effort over a long period of time. It doesn’t happen overnight. Just know that if you are consistent, it’s going to pay off with dad success.
I hope you enjoyed this Fatherhood Formula series as much as I enjoyed making it. These 7 principals for dad success will hopefully stick with you on your parenting journey.
I have an important questions for you. What is the single most important thing you learned from these videos. Please write your answers and feedback in the comments section below.