10 Things You Should NEVER Say to Your Pregnant Wife

baby Jul 06, 2020
10 Things You Should NEVER Say to Your Pregnant Wife

10 Things You Should NEVER Say to Your Pregnant Wife

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Bringing a child into the world is an incredible journey, but it also comes with its unique set of challenges, especially for the pregnant mother. 

As the mother of your child goes through pregnancy, she’ll be experiencing a lot of emotional ups and downs. During this time, the best way you can be supportive is to be mindful of the things you say to her. 

At Dad University, we’re here to support you in your new role as a father. To this end, we’re sharing 10 things you must never say to your pregnant wife. 

Avoid saying these 10 things, and you’ll be on your way to being the supportive and caring father and husband you’re supposed to be. 

1. “I Have It Just as Hard as You Do.”

Pregnancy may be one of the most beautiful experiences ever, but it hits one person the hardest — your pregnant wife. Throughout pregnancy, your wife will experience all the discomforts associated with the experience while you’re spared from them. Saying that the experience is just as hard on you is inaccurate, dismissive, and unhelpful. 

Often, this statement may come up when you see your wife going through cravings and outbursts. To be supportive, the best thing you can do is to be there and remind your wife that you’ve got her and that you’re there if she needs you or anything. 

2. “Why Are You So Emotional?”

This question is not something you should ask during your wife’s pregnancy because it won’t yield any meaningful answer. Also, and most importantly, the question dismisses what your wife goes through on an emotional and hormonal level. 

Hormonal shifts due to pregnancy bring up so many emotions. As your wife progresses to her second and third trimesters, she can become upset even over something that seems trivial to you. 

It’s not your wife’s fault that she goes through several emotions at once. It’s important to be understanding and recognize that emotional shifts are normal parts of pregnancy. 

3. “You Look Really Tired.”

This can set your wife off instantly. At the very least, your wife might reply with an annoyed “you think?”

Pregnancy often leads to fatigue and exhaustion due to hormonal changes. If that’s not enough, the physical discomfort of carrying a baby for nine months is sure to fatigue your wife. 

While it might be apparent that your partner looks tired, pointing it out never helps. By understanding that hormonal imbalances and physical discomfort contribute to this fatigue, you’ll prevent inadvertently triggering your pregnant wife. 

4. “You Are Getting Really Big.”

Pregnant or not, weight is a sensitive issue for women in general. Always avoid commenting on your pregnant wife’s weight gain. 

During pregnancy, your wife can gain as much as 30 pounds, which is completely normal. Instead of commenting on this change, do your best to make your wife feel beautiful and support her during this physically and emotionally taxing time. 

5. “You Shouldn’t Eat That.”

Your pregnant wife will be reaching for all sorts of food, including ones that aren’t normally in her diet. This happens because she’s now eating for two and experiencing cravings. 

For this reason, leave her dietary choices to her, and don’t impose any dietary guidelines. Doing so will lead to unnecessary stress that can lead to conflict.

6. “My Friend’s Wife Only Gained X Pounds.”

Under no circumstances is it ever acceptable to compare your wife’s weight gain with anyone. As with commenting on her weight gain and levels of exhaustion, comparisons won’t support your wife. If anything, comparing your wife’s weight gain with anyone else’s will upset her even further. 

Your wife’s pregnancy experience is unique, so you must do your best to treat it that way. 

7. “Do I Need to Go to the Doctor’s Appointments?”

Take it from us at Dad University — you should go to doctor’s appointments, and your pregnant wife expects you to. 

Active involvement in doctor’s appointments showcases your support and interest in the pregnancy journey. By being present, asking questions, and understanding the updates, you can strengthen your bond and signal that you’re with your wife on the journey.

Most importantly, the results of the appointment will prevent you from saying number eight on the list. 

8. “This Beer/Wine/Food Is So Good.”

Depending on how the doctor’s appointment goes, there will be certain foods that are excluded from your wife’s diet. Usually, physicians will limit or restrict these foods if they find conditions like pregnancy-induced hypertension (PIH) or gestational diabetes (GDM).  

If the doctor excludes certain foods from your wife’s diet, don’t rub it in. You shouldn’t indulge in these prohibited foods and beverages in front of your wife, nor should you say how delicious the food and drinks are. 

Doing this will upset your wife, and if you’re not careful, you’ll be spending the night on the couch. 

9. “This House Is Messy.”

Talking about chores is fine, but tread carefully. If you’re bringing up how messy the house is, do so only if you’re following it up with how you’re willing to clean.  

Pregnancy is tough for your wife, so she’ll be in no condition to perform strenuous tasks. Any chores or household responsibilities fall on you, at least in the interim. 

10. “You Are Neglecting Me.”

As your wife’s due date approaches, she’ll be shifting her priorities and focusing on safe delivery. However, this doesn’t mean that your relationship takes a backseat. Recognizing this, don’t accuse your wife of neglecting you. 

Instead, understand that her shift in priorities is temporary and is only meant to prepare for a change in family dynamics. After her delivery, your relationship can return to what it once was —  and with a beautiful baby in the mix.

Key Takeaway: Be Understanding and Supportive

Ultimately, everything we’ve shared with you boils down to you being a supportive and understanding husband. By letting supportiveness and understanding be your guiding principles, you’ll be supporting your pregnant wife and creating a positive environment during her pregnancy. 

From us at Dad University, congratulations in advance on becoming a dad. If you need some help with your new role as a father, check out our resources. You can also sign up for our Dad University Membership. 

We’ve transformed the lives of thousands of dads with our membership subscriptions and resources. Check out Dad University now and unlock your super-dad potential!

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