5 Love Languages of Children

parenting Sep 26, 2019
5 Love Languages of Children

As a dad, you likely seize every opportunity to show your kids you love them. However, sometimes, conveying love to a child can be tricky.

There will be times when you show love the right way and your expression of love is met with a positive response. Other times, your act will either be rejected or ignored completely.

If the latter happens more often than not, you’re not the problem. Rather, there’s a chance that you’re not speaking your child’s love language.

The concept of love languages is a recently developed idea that highlights how different people respond differently to certain loving gestures. Not only does this concept apply to adults but it applies to our kids too.

Now, you may be wondering what love languages are. Let us at Dad University be your Rosetta stone.

Stick around to learn about love languages for children. By the end of this, you’ll likely find one that enables you to show and tell your kids how much you love them.

What Are Love Languages?

A love language is a concept popularized by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book, “The Five Love Languages.”

Dr. Chapman explains that each person has a preferred love language. There are love languages for expressing love and preferred love languages for receiving (or perceiving) it.

Later after the massive success of his book, Dr. Chapman collaborated with Dr. Ross Campbell to publish the book “The Five Love Languages of Children.”

This book follows the same train of thought as Dr. Chapman’s magnum opus, extending the concept of love languages to children.

The Five Child Love Languages

As in his original work, Dr. Chapman with the help of Dr. Campbell identified five love languages. These love languages are ways of expressing love to children and come in the following forms.

1. Words of Affirmation

Words of affirmation are essential to expressing love and appreciation in relationships — both with your partner and your kids. They serve as powerful tools to uplift and validate your children, fostering a sense of worth and belonging.

Whether it’s a heartfelt “I love you” or a thoughtful compliment on clothing choice, words of affirmation are excellent for brightening up even the worst of days. If your child responds to this love language, your compliments and praise will perk your kids up no matter how bad a day they had in school or daycare.

2. Gifts

Most children respond well to gifts. Gifts are tokens that express your love and appreciation for your kids.

Gifts convey your love and sentiment in a way no other love languages can. Unlike other love languages, gifts are tangible, representing your genuine interest in your children’s well-being and interests.

While gifts are a love language, don’t assume that what you give your kids should always break the bank. After all, a gift isn’t just the object you’re giving but the act of giving itself. To quote the old cliche:

“It’s the thought that counts.”

With this in mind, think along the lines of a handwritten note, a framed family photograph, or even something you’ve made yourself.

3. Acts of Service

Some kids don’t respond to words of affirmation or gifts. If you notice a glow in your child’s eyes when you do things for them, there’s a chance that your child’s love language is an act of service.

Acts of service involve you doing things your children can’t do for themselves. This love language is powerful for some children because, to them, it fosters a sense of security.

Acts of service can also promote and reinforce mutual support. As a result, it’s an excellent love language for strengthening your relationship with your kids, especially during their early years.

4. Quality Time

Without a doubt, spending quality time with your kids is one of the most important things you can do to show them your love. However, there’s more to the idea of “quality time” than just being around. Spending quality time with your kids also means giving them your full attention.

Spending quality time can be any activity where your attention is on your kids. Hence, think casual strolls, an afternoon at your local cafe or ice cream parlor, or a short leisurely drive while going over your child’s day.

You’ll be amazed at how enduring your relationship with your kids will be when you spend quality time with them.

Of course, your child might speak the next love language instead.

5. Physical Touch

Physical touch is the language of intimacy, comfort, and connection in relationships. When applied to your kids, it can give them a sense of belonging and security with every embrace and loving kiss.

During moments of joy, give your kids their dose of touch — whether it’s in the form of a hug or high five. Doing this makes a positive moment seem all the more joyous.

On the flip side, a reassuring hug is also an excellent way to provide a sense of closeness and security when your child is upset.

One Caveat With Love Languages: Don’t Overdo It

Once you figure out your child’s love language, be careful not to overindulge.

Overindulgence in one love language at the expense of others can lead to imbalance and unrealistic expectations.

For instance, if your child’s primary love language is receiving gifts, giving them too often can make your child spoiled.

Meanwhile, you might foster dependence in your children if you overindulge them with acts of service.

To prevent unrealistic expectations and imbalances, display all love languages. Doing this strikes a harmonious balance and ensures that your expressions of love remain genuine and multifaceted.

Expressing your love in different ways also enables your kids to develop independence and gratitude for even the simplest things.

Speak The Language Your Child Understands: Love

Understanding your children’s love languages is an ongoing journey and one filled with learning, adaptation, and unwavering commitment.

By attuning yourself to your kids’ individual needs and preferences, you’ll lay the foundation for enduring bonds built on trust, empathy, and unconditional love.

Finding your child’s love language is just one of the many challenges of parenting. For this and everything else dad-related, we have your back.

Watch the 5 Love Languages of Children video here:

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