How Becoming a Father Changed Me

For me, there are some very specific things that changed.  Overall I think becoming a father has forced me to be a better man.  Here are some ways that I have been impacted:

 

#1 – I‘m Less Selfish – You can’t only think about yourself when you become a father.  You hope you are less selfish when you are in a relationship or you get married.  But having a child brings it to a whole other level. Decisions are made considering your family.  This can be everything from where you are going to dinner all the way down to a career choice. In the past, I could do what i want whenever I want.  Now you have to consider others when making decisions and that’s ok.

#2 – I value time more – I remember when I was young and single, having complete weekends with no plans and no obligations was a regular thing.  This doesn’t happen very much anymore as a father. Your schedule is tight because if you don’t have something planned, you want to spend the time with your family.  Also when your child is really young, having an hour of quiet and nothing to do seems like the most amazing thing in the world. But time just becomes more valuable and you don’t want to waste it.

#3 – I think about my Legacy – Before I had kids, I didn’t give much thought to how I was impacting those around me, let alone the community or the even the world. I began to look at the world around my kids in a different way.  How could I impact people and leave a mark here after I am gone? Becoming a father had me look more at my ability to impact others.  This was my drive to start Dad University and help educate dads around the world.

 

#4 – I’ve Become more Responsible – Good or bad, when you are a father you always have someone watching you.  That little one is watching the way you treat other people, how hard your work, or the food and drink you consume. The choices you make in your life, now have a direct impact on them because they are watching and learning from you. For me, making choices like eating less sugar, drinking less alcohol, and exercising regularly, are examples that I’m trying to set for my kids.  They see it.

 

#5 – Better work-life balance – Becoming a father has allowed me to have a better work-life balance. Sure, I work hard and I love what I do.  But it doesn’t take priority over my family.  Whether it’s having family dinners, or going on weekend camping trips with my kids, i have been able to find a better work-life balance since becoming a father. Remember: Nobody on their deathbed ever said “I should have spent more time at the office”.